Starring Chris Griffin
by Drac39
Summary: Chris audtions for a role in a movie filming in Quahog
1. Chapter 1

Starring Chris Griffin

by

Mike Kocher

(Opening shot,Peter is reading a book to Stewie)

Peter:Heres what happened after Horton heard the Who.

Stewie: Let me guess everyone believes his ludicrous story and he becomes the belle of the ball?

Peter in a sweet voice:No he is declared insane and has to spend the rest of his life in a mental health facility.

(Opening music)

(Next shot,the Peter and Brian are around the breakfast table,it is early and not everyone has woken up)

Peter:Brian do you have the newspaper

Brian:Peter you never read it

Peter: Yeah but could you at least hand me the lingerie adds?

Brian in a unpleased tone: All right.

(Peter then goes to the cereal cabinet)

Peter:Oh boy Coca Pebbles!

(Barney Rubble comes and steals them)

Peter:Barney my pebbles! No fair last week it was my Flintstones vitamins!

(Brian folds up his newspaper and turns on the news)

Tom Tucker:Good Morning Quahog Im Tom Tucker.

Diane Sawyer:And Im Diane Sawyer

Tom: You asked for it and now were on in the early morning.Which means I have to spend even more time with this arrogant bitch Thanks Quahog.

Diane:Oh I love spending time with an orangutang the network found and shaved to be a newscaster.

Tom:They werent supposed to know that.

Diane ignoring the statement: A brand new movie is going to be filmed in our very own town. And they are still casting a major role for a young male ages 10-15.

Tom:Wow that sounds exciting.

Diane:Yes Tom but theres no chance your inbred son will get the part.

Tom clenching his fist: Ive had it up to hear with you!

(Peter turns off the T.V before the fight begins)

Brian:Thats quite the opportunity.

Peter:Yeah too bad I wasnt a young male ages 10-15.

Brian with a hinting tone:I think you know someone that is.

Peter:Who? what? Tell me Brian!

Brian:Someone very close to you.

Peter:Who?

Brian:A special relative

Peter:Give it to me straight Brian,I havent been this confused since the ending of the Empire Strikes Back

(Cut to Peter in theatre watching the Empire Strikes Back.)

Vader:No I am your father!

Peter:How can he be Lukes father? He doesnt even have a penis!

(Flashforward)

Brian:For Goodness sakes Chris you moron!

Peter:Oh yeah Chris! I could teach him to be a star.

Lois enters

Lois:Whats all this noise.

Peter:Chris is going to be in the new movie!

Brian:Wait a minute Peter he has to audition first.

Peter:Oh yeah,forget it that part is too hard to get past.

(Flash to Peter auditioning for Titanic)

Rose/Kate Winslet:Ill never let go Jack

Peter:Me Neither

Rose:Peter you can stop touching my breasts.

(Peter still is grabbing the breasts)

Rose:AHHH Get him out of here!

(Policemen come and beat up Peter)

Lois:Well maybe you could get Chris ready for the audtion,you too havent spent much time together recently.

Peter:Or better yet...

(Flash to The Godfathers office)

The Godfather: Peter tell me about this Hollywood Pezzonovanta who won't let your son work.

Peter: Well Godfather he owns the studio. Just a month ago he bought-

(Flashback)

Lois:On second thought Ill get Chris ready.

Peter:Great Ill watch tv and get drunk.

(Cut to later in the day,Lois is in the car with Chris)

Lois:Chris we havent spent much time together recently and I was thinking about how much you love movies.

(Chris is watching Barney the Movie)

Announcer:The Film you are about to see is rated R for Retarded

Barney:Hi Kids

(Chris laughs and claps his hands)

Chris:Yeah

Lois:Well theres going to be a new movie filming in Quahog and if we work together you could maybe be in it.

Chris:Wow that sounds like fun.

Lois:Glad to hear your excited.Lets go to the library to get some books on acting.

(Cut to Peter,Brian,Meg,and Stewie watching TV)

Meg:Dad since Chris and Mom are gone could I go to the mall.

Peter:I dont know sounds iffy,I better give you some extra money in case you dont find your way home.

(Meg has a pleased look on her face)

Peter:Talk about good parenting

Brian:You just gave her three times her weekly allowance.

Stewie to himself:Maybe I too could somehow take advantage of the fat mans stupidity.

(Peter is watching the television)

Announcer:We now return to the Best of British humor.

Comedian:Knickers!

Peter:Hahaha Thats english for a bra.

(Stewie walks toward him)

Stewie:Daddy could you take me to the Toy store.

Peter:I dont know Stewie,Im not that found of Toy stores.

(Cut to Peter in a Toy store.)

Peter:Wow a Tickle Me Elmo

(Peter tickles him)

Elmo:Let go of me bad man.

(A Larger female Elmo muppet comes)

Female Elmo:Let go of my son you pervert!

(Flashforward)

Peter:I suppose so Stewie.

(Cut to Stewies room,Stewie is talking to Rupert)

Stewie:Alas Rupert we can finally have a commander above the price of 4.95 to help see our mission succeed.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N_

_Thank you for all the positive reviews of Where everyone forgets your name. I had another Family Guy fan fiction on my computer but it crashed and is lost.Expect updates soon for this soon._


	3. Chapter 3

(Cut to Chris and Lois coming home)

Lois:I think youre really doing well Chris.

Chris in a different voice:Thank you mother.

Brian:Wow you really worked wonders with him.

Lois:Acutally for times sake he just had a fast character change

Brian: Right

(Peter and Stewie come in)

Peter in a sarcastic voice to Chris:Hello other son.

Brian:What the hell has gotten into you.

Peter:Ive just realized my intelligent seamin skipped a child.

(Cut to Seamin)

Intellignet one:I say what happened to Fredrick.

Another intelligent one:Peter sold him to the sperm bank in order to get concert tickets.

Retarded seamin:I swam real far and saw poop

Intelligent seamin:Indeed

(flashback)

Peter:Ive had a great time hanging out with Stewie(cut to Stewie in car with Peter)

Peter:Youre going to grow up and be successful Stewie,you see I had a rough childhood(here the voice changes into Daniel Stern like a Wonder Years monolouge) see Dad was a strict Catholic which made him a perfectionist

Peter realizes its Daniel Stern.

Peter:What the hell are you doing talking about my childhood?

Daniel Stern:Oh I do that for a living now.

Stewie:People pay you to do that?

Daniel Stern:Sometimes they throw me quarters.

Peter:Why are you in my car?

Daniel Stern:I was eating the french fries under the seats.

(flashback)

Peter:Have a good time with your movie son.

Peter and Stewie walk away.

Lois:Oh I hope Peter isnt jealous of me spending time with Chris.

Brian:I wouldnt worry Peter loves Chris,hell snap out of it.Even though hes dumb as hell hes a good father

(Cut to Peter with toddlers Meg and Chris in the park)

Chris:Can I have a ballon?

Peter:Sure thing son.

(Michael Jackson runs in and grabs Chris)

Peter:Get away from my son you pervert!

(Michael Jackson grabs Meg instead.Chris gets his ballon and Peter hugs him)

Michael Jackson:Ewww your a girl!

(flash to Peter in bed having a dream)

Announcer:We now return to the Academy Awards heres your host Billy Crystal.

Billy Crystal:Knock Knock

(circkets chirp)

Billy Crystal pretending to be someone:Whos there

Billy Crystal:Dontya

Billy Crystal pretending to be someone else:Dontya who

Billy Crystal:Dont ya remember me I mean I was in City Slickers,When Harry met Sally,Analyze This! Doesnt anyone care at all?

Announcer:And the oscar for Best Actor goes to Chris Griffin!

Chris:Thank you Academy for giving me the honor of having so many oscars!

(Peter sees Chris walking with oscars)

Peter:Dont ya remember me son?

Chris:Im too rich for you now,go be Megs father.

Peter:Ahhh!

(Peter wakes up full of sweat)

Lois:Whats wrong

Peter:Ive just had the most horrible nightmare!

Lois:What was it about.

Peter:Billy Crystal,it was awful Lois oh God it was awful!

Lois:Get back to sleep Peter,well be taking Chris to his audition in the morning.

(Cut to the morning,Lois and Chris are leaving)

Chris:Is Dad coming with?

Lois:I think hes worried.

(Peter shows up)

Peter:Good luck Son Im so proud of you.

Chris:Thanks Dad.

Brian:Yeah Chris break a leg.

(Chris just then breaks his leg)

(Cut to hospital,Peter,Lois,Brian and Dr.Hartman are there)

Brian:Boy what a coincedence,Chris Im sorry.

Chris:Will I be able to make my audition?

Dr.Hartman:Oh no my boy you wont be able to walk for a while,youll have to lay in your room

Chris:Oh no the evil monkey will be able to get me.

(Everyone laughs,and the Evil Monkey comes in and begins laughing an evil laugh too)

The End

Sorry about the delay


End file.
